In some reading or other, I learned about the difference between Wishes, Dreams, and Goals. As I remember it:
- Wishes are desires you aren’t willing to work toward.
- Dreams are desires you aren’t sure how to work toward.
- Goals are desires you’ve made a plan to work toward.
Writing the other day that I wish I had a lifted seat (ham-hocks!!!) made me reflect that it’s actually a Dream of mine, not a Wish. I am willing to work toward it, I’m just not entirely sure how to attain it.
Which makes me reflect further that, in truth, I do know how to attain it… I’m just not willing to work for it, so it is a Wish after all. Ha!
So, where the rubber meets the road is where I have to be honest about my true willingness to achieve what I want. Surrrre, a hot ass would be AWESOME! Buuut, did you know what nearly all the literature and friend advice says?: Do squats. Ugh. How boring. And so, it goes from Dream (doing research) back into Wish (Meh, too hard).
Where it hasn’t gone — and here’s where I’m beginning to suspect the magic is — is into Goals. Into becoming true and actionable, with action steps, and deadlines, and dates Goals.
Okay okay, so maybe a lifted seat doesn’t get your relatable meter running, but maybe “Earn my small plane pilot’s license” or “Record the score for my musical lyrics” or “Earn a Second Bachelor’s Degree in Physics.”
Whatever floats your boat.
Goals are on my mind today because my Weekly Goals Group call is this afternoon and our question for this week is, “What are your Goals?” Eek. It’s a little more specific than that (what are the major areas of your life and what are your goals in each for the next 1, 5, 10, 20 years), but when we read aloud the question of the week last time, all of us ladies on the line laughed out loud, absolute hilarity ensured for over a minute.
As if the idea of nailing the whirling dervish of our wishes and dreams down onto the page was as ridiculous as hunting unicorns and pixies.
Oh, how we laughed, too, sheepish and blushing, because this is the spot we avoid. Don’t make me look! Like a sore tooth, we just chew on the other side; we make due not using our all, we pretend that this is a normal state of being. And we laugh at the idiocy of the suggestion to face the aching tooth.
Goals necessitate that a person must be specific about what they desire, and then nail it to a calendar, or routine, or practice. A goal is not a fairy; a goal is one unavoidable action at a time. A goal is a partnership that holds you accountable so you can’t kick your desires down the pages of a calendar.
A goal is so real and, therefore, so vulnerable. (Hence the hilarity giggles.)
A goal being a real thing means it’s subject to struggle and injury. But it is also capable of growth.
Wishes and Dreams do not grow. They are the things of childhood fancy.
A Goal is a Grown-Up tool—and a dance partner—and it begs and invites you to dance with it, every f*ing day. Ugh.
Yesterday afternoon, I had the first call of my new Goals Group. Like the last one I participated in, we’ll have a group phone call wherein we’ll walk through a series of weekly assigned questions—about our vision for our lives, our goals, a specific goal, what blocks us from this goal, how we can accept help to overcome these blocks, and how we will maintain these (generally spiritual) connections to ensure we continue actions toward fulfilling our vision.
Owning Voice 