our day plans to hike in Tilden Park. I placed my phone on the breakfast table,
and reached down to scratch between the ears of my cat. Unbidden, I said softly, “I
love my life.”
is what came to and out of my lips.
mental blocks. Perhaps it’s a result of having made a decision on which medical path I will take, and thus I can
stop aching and hemming about it – allow myself to leave myself alone about
it. Perhaps it’s a result of letting my father go, his behavior as a dictate
of how I feel about myself and interpret myself in the world.
“Time.” Or, perhaps, it’s simply a result of all the people I have praying for me:
me in his church.
Catholic school, and a whole school room of 5 and 6 year olds fold their hands,
and bow their heads to pray for me.
Chasidic rabbis, are praying for me.
agnostic, or atheist, who’re sending me healing and healthy thoughts.
religions! Perhaps this all is why I’m feeling generous with my optimism today.
Perhaps it’s simply because I’m awesome 😉 and I believe in the power of
I’ve seen a holistic chiropractor and a depth hypnotherapist. Next week, I will
see an acupuncturist and a reiki practitioner.
I burned some
sage and bought a tourmaline bracelet to boot.
Doesn’t much matter to me, honestly – as long as I can feel that I’m taking
action around getting healthy.
silver and turquoise-inlaid cross ornament. It has not much to do with the traditional symbolism of
it, of Christ on the cross, and my burdens being carried and sins absolved by
him. It has more, for me, to do with the beauty of the symbol itself, as if I’d hung
Tibetan prayer flags, or the painted Ohm a friend sent me. It’s actually the
second cross I’ve bought, having purchased silver with turquoise cross earrings
a few years ago – I just love the way it looks. The shape, the contrast of
colors. But, too, I won’t deny that, yes, indeed, it is a spiritual symbol, and
I’ll take it.
candles, said the prayer in Hebrew, and then even said one over the challah (bread) we
bought that morning. Cuz, why not?
I’d actually ordered a Pema Chodron book, neither of whom I’ve read so far, but
both I’ve heard the praises of. The book is A Path to Love, and emphasizes love of self, and love
of G-d, which he points out is the same.
for Thanksgiving consumerism, as the blessings are for the “meal” table. But it’s not only about harvest, but simply thanks and gratitude; plus there are some funny ones too. (“Rub-a-dub-dub,
Thanks for the grub” actually made it into the anthology!).
grab for and explore whatever it is that may work. I won’t ignore the place of
modern science and medicine, although I am already beginning to dread the third
round of chemo which will begin in about a week. But, I will hold on to these
other paths and ways and thoughts and inspirations to bolster me and harbor me
as I go through the rigors and fear of dripping poison into my veins.