abundance · adulthood · change · growth · love

Progress, Not Perfection…

When I have clarity of vision, pretty amazing things tend to
About 2 years ago, when working my way through the Calling
in The One
book, I decided it was time to
get that 2nd bedside table to “energetically” be more inviting to a partner. The one I had on my side is sort of shabby/chic, wooden, painted white, with a little storage and
soft, almost country structure. Very soon thereafter, I wandered into a garage
sale down the block – and wouldn’t you know, there is the perfectly
complementary bedside table – different shape, but same country feel, wooden,
painted white, same height too.
Over last summer, I decided it was time to upgrade my
ever-chipping, ever-depleting plateware and bowl collection. I had one bowl left. And a stack of gray, unappealing plates
that I’d bought for cheap thinking they’d be “sleek,” but were instead just… gray. Very
soon thereafter, I was in Cole Valley, waiting for my band to
play at the street fair, and lo, there was a stack of multicolored, almost
Fiesta ware bowls and a stack of bright blue plates to go with them—for free.
Within the last two months, a man was crossing the street in
front of my car as I drove home from work. He was dressed “smartly,” wearing a sweater over a button-down shirt, well-fitting jeans, and real shoes, not
sneakers. I said to myself, I want someone who wears clothes like that. (Though, sure, I would have barfed at such a preppy [pulled-together??] look in the past.)  This wasn’t the first time I’d thought that, as I
noticed men milling about the world recently. And, you guessed it,
very soon
, I met this new boy, who wears
smart clothing, fitting the above description to a T.
So, point? Well, my coworker would smirk at my “manifest-y”
meanderings, but my point is more that when I have a vision of what I want,
more often than not (and so often with housewares!), I get it very quickly and
with much ease.
I took a personality test about a year ago, the
Meyers-Briggs, with a friend who actually processes these tests for a living.
Part of the reason for my wanting to do this type of test was to find out what
I “should do” with my life—if there were places and arenas in the world that
would benefit most from the assets I already have, the things that come easy to me. And wouldn’t you know, for
“appropriate jobs,” my particular personality type listed all kinds of artsy
things (writer, painter, actor), also counselor and clergy, all of which I’ve contemplated in the past.
What it also told me about me about my “type” were the
pitfalls, and how to counter them. How to counter idealistic, magpie, not detail-oriented leanings? 

“Focus, Prioritize,
Eesh. Yuck.
But, see all my above Manifesty moments? These were ALL born
of something called “focus.” I had clarity. I knew what I wanted, and made
myself open to receive it by participating in the world.
One of the final meditations at my annual meditation retreat
in Napa a few years ago left me with the following directive: Use Your Time
I’ve been SO F*ING BUSY, it feels. I’m doing and going and
participating, but I’m not focused or prioritized, so I don’t get done the
things I really want to do; I don’t move forward in those places.
Be it career advancement, monologue learning, song writing.
There are areas in my life I want to deepen. I want to strengthen
the roots of these priorities. I want to make forward motion with them. Which
means, I want to make time for them,
real, expansive, focused, invested time.
Running hither and thither is great. My life is FULL. So
freaking full, I don’t know my ass (non-essentials) from my elbow (essentials),
and, as example, I spent way more money on take-out food this month, since I
haven’t had any time for food shopping and cooking—something which actually does
feed me, in all the ways.
Focus. Prioritize. Follow-through.
If they came naturally to me, I would have honed them
already. They don’t. A personality test, and 32 years of knowing my own
personality have proven that these are not inherent.
However, if I want to
live the life that is more about quality than quantity, I need to (strike
that!) – I would like to encourage myself in learning how to do this. I know
it’s possible. My free amazing couch that I sit on right now is proof of vision
equaling results. But, in order to even have time to let the dust settle in the
glass, I have to sit still, listen closely, be open to asking for help in how on earth one “focuses, prioritizes, and follows-through,” and
most of all, allow myself progress, not perfection. 

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