Today, I write you from the lounge in the building at my new school. I wanted to see what traffic would be like if I tried to arrive on time for teaching, rather than on time for our faculty work day.
I wasn’t on time.
Even leaving before blogging, an hour in advance, I wasn’t on time for what will need to be my settling in and minor morning prep, particularly as Monday mornings will find me teaching from 8:02am to 12:20pm, with one 15-minute break.
… Oy.
In a continuation of the Efficiency and Effectiveness in the World theme, it is likely that I will change this from a daily blog to a weekly blog starting Sunday. I don’t want to do this. I like the process of writing you everyday, but to touch on the relationship theme I’ve also been jamming on, it’s also got to work for me.
Part of the reason I want to continue writing daily is a grasping one: I want to make money.
What??
Stick with me here: There are several people in the world who have established a name and a voice for themselves via their blog, and then published a successful (even moderately so) book in the world. I’d like to be one of them.
I want to publish a book because, a) I feel like a book is supposed to happen (likely several, of different genres), and b) I want to make money.
Ha! Oh, Molly, your grand schemes and designs.
There’s nothing at all wrong with wanting to make more money, but if I think that my creativity is obliged to bring that to me, I’m sorely mistaken. If as a natural, ancillary byproduct of Reason A (to write because I need and want to write), I arrive at Reason B, grand. But I cannot make them the other way around.
Which is sort of what my attachment to writing this daily would be (to court, sustain, and curry your devotion), particularly if that was to mean waking up at 4:30am, instead of the current 5:30am. (Did I mention I already have sleep problems??!)
I want your eyes; I hunger for your revelations and communion. And because of that desperation, I will lose myself and you, not necessarily in that order.
So, lovely readers, our relationship will have to morph and evolve as both our needs evolve. We’ll have to support each other as best as we can as we work to support our selves. Sounds healthy, no?