goals · insanity · meditation

Center

11.21.18We finally had our Goals Group call again last night.  It had been several weeks, folks out of town, my cross country final “meet.”  And it was like an oasis.

Although I’ve been connecting regularly with my action partner via text each morning, letting her know what I hoped to accomplish that day, I was finding that those lists were becoming more and more “task” oriented and much less oriented toward my visions and goals, which is the aim of an action partnership (at least to my understanding).

Further, I was barely getting through any of the items I was texting her.  Because the way it’s currently set up is that we make commitments but don’t follow-up on if we did them or not, I was finding that I was writing lists and then hardly doing any of them!

So, I got to tell as much to my Goals Group last night.  We’ve been working together through a series of questions over seven months now, having weekly calls to share our answers to what our goals are, what’s holding us back, what’s the payoff we’re getting from avoiding our goals — you know, the usual!  And it felt like an anchor last night, a recentering to come back to, “Oh yeah, what am I attempting to do with my life, again?”

It’s all well and good (and necessary) to accomplish the daily tasks of living—like Complete assignment for work, Get car smogged, Pick up paint samples,… Shower daily…—but these tasks do not fulfill the deep needs of my true self, and without holding those needs and goals in my awareness, without anchoring into my “purpose” or vision for my life, I begin to feel lost, unmotivated, and vague in my life, even while accomplishing the tasks of daily living.  Then I begin to feel depressed and listless.

Those tasks are not what bring me to life, so  I need to hold my vision for myself and my life topmost, as it is literally “vital” that I do so.

Therefore, last night I committed to my Goals Group that I would do my morning practice today, Wednesday, and Friday.  Journal, Meditate, Blog.  This practice (all three together!) helps me to remember who I truly am, not an automaton just trying to “get through the day.”  I want more for my life and for myself.  And if I don’t take the time to reflect, if I don’t set aside the hours (yes, hours every morning) to come back to center, to remember who I am and what I want for this one lifetime I am honored to have, then it’s just a series of days falling off the calendar.

I am grateful for the chance to plug back in, to center.  I do not yet feel back “on it” or “in it” — in myself, I guess that is — but I do know that, one day at a time, I will write myself into right thinking, and then think myself into right action.

Welcome back, to both of us.

 

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