coffee · dating · integrity · love · self-care · sex

Sex of Rockstar and Death Rattle Varieties

Tomorrow I go on a b l i n d date. As in I really have no
idea what the guy I’m meeting looks like. He’s a friend of an acquaintance who emailed me on facebook to go out to coffee, and his photo is one of those
cartoon/sketches of a photo – and the rest of his photos are private.
That said, I have to be in the city tomorrow anyway – I have
mild suspicion about the suitability of this person judging from my
conversation with our mutual acquaintance – and he may or may not have an
addiction to adderall – but that’s based on circumstantial evidence – or that’s
the term they’d use on t.v.
And secondly, in favor of coffee with a stranger, why not?
It’s good to keep my dating muscles toned or at least not atrophied – my last was a date a few months ago with a near-friend. You know, that person you run in to
at shows or gatherings and always seem to flirt with obscurely in one of those
“*wink* we’re totally flirting but so totally covert about it that I’m not
actually sure if we are but I think we are and isn’t this charged ambiguity
totally exciting” kind of ways (!) – but one or the other is always in a
relationship, or you don’t want to ruin the quasi-friendship with the quagmire
of sex, or neuroses.
My date with the quasi-friend went well, but in terms of
continued romanticism, it was a case of mutual “i don’t think this is gonna
work” and luckily we both said as much a few days later, and so we still get to
be friends.
So, tomorrow’ll be my second date in … a lot of months. It’s
cool. I have a pretty good idea that I’m marinating – getting seasoned for the
right time. – I almost wrote “right now” – which is also true – as I’ve said
before, I tend to believe that once I have x y or z in place, I’ll be really
ready to be in a relationship. But, I got out of a long term one in January
that had a few death rattle trysts through August, so until I was ready to stop
beating a dead horse – or beating off an ex – just kidding – I haven’t really
been available to date anyway.
Although, about a month ago, around the time I started doing
the Calling in The One exercises, along with the Cousin contacting me out of
the deep blue, an old SF fling contacted me to say what’s up. It’s a good thing
I’m convincedly sure he’s a bad idea, because, have.mercy. that sex was awesome.
He and I “saw” each other for about a month about two years ago, and it was
like the kind of stuff you read about or see in “movies” or just fantasize
about – I actually said to him, Do you ever forget how great sex can be? (He
said no.)
But, alas, said hipster (who really wanted me to wear his
torn skinny jeans and loved that my dishware was all in some “state of decay” [I’ve recently tossed all chipped dishware…]) is not a viable option for me –
rockstar sex or not. Well, not right now at least. 
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