that it doesn’t take everything into account.
needed a new place to have our parties. Having myself just moved from a room in the
Sunset to a large one-bedroom in Cole Valley with backyard access, I knew it was time to do what I’d
always wanted – have people over.
you hung out at, where there were snacks in the fridge, or cable. I wanted
that. I still want that.
of David Christmas Cookie Party; The Heart&Stars Pre-Val party, years 1 and 2.
decorated, staged, advertised to the throngs, and made events, evenings of
note, fun, camaraderie (with just a few demerits about the music selection).
backyard where area 2 or 3 of tables and music were set up; the paintings I made explicitly for the theme, the candles and streamers bought, the inventive, creative, muse-ful decorating. It was with purpose and
satisfaction, excitement and anticipation that I planned, that I created, that
I had order.
to host and organize a group art show, the venue hunting, artist hunting, postcard
and poster tweaking at 11 o’clock at night — It was fuel. It was sustaining. (Except the
money I put up for it left me rather broke, and landed me in a 12 step program
for chronic underearners/debtors!)
laughter and community was created.
party. The following day, my friend said to me, I left your party feeling warm.
a space where others feel welcome, warm, at ease, … well, this is why I do it.
To create community, to bring people together, disparate groups of friends and
artists. People who normally would not mix, I provide the shell, and they bring
notes from this morning’s pages:
shame. How can order not equal Dad? Disorder not equal exhaustion, lack of
resources, self-sufficiency. Dad = reliance, so reliance = unsafe. How to have
reliance = safety? Things are picking up & they’re going to have to be laid
to order, aren’t they? I’d like to have order, stability; it allows for
productivity. Disorder does not engender productivity, but busyness and famine.
Plant, seed, water, grow. No way but this.
as stifling authority, but as a pathway to creativity and community.
new regime, a new epoch of order.