cyst that I have to go through biopsy limbo to confirm. Just don’t be an
the community who shows up for me, available at 6:30am-text notice. One of them
is coming with me to the doctor visit–though I didn’t ask, I just “wanted to inform someone who isn’t my mom and wouldn’t freak out,” she offered. I wanted to
ask, but asking for help… especially help to attend to an amorphous, “Am I just
intimate experience with things like this. She said, it’s not paranoid. It’s
not hypochondriac. We have reasons, and good ones. She said she gets alarmed
too. And so, what do we do? We get things checked out.
seen my lists of activities. It’s nuhhh-thing. And MAYBE IT IS. But you know how I tongue the other
side of “maybe.”
is all normal. Leukemia Negative.
anything? Is this just me mental-masturbating onto the page to diffuse some of my worry by spewing it onto you?
“Don’t Worry Twice.” It’s the best advice I’ve ever been given, and a thousand
miles toward following it.
this is suspicious. I am not a doctor, I should get this checked out. The end.
It’s why I got my blood tested finally; and glad that I did. It’s why I’ll see a doctor today, who may really seriously in fact tell me, this is just a really bad zit
under your skin, Moll. Use some ProActive and get on with your life.
deciding to get this zit-in-sheep’s-clothing checked out, was “Rule 62.” Don’t
Take Yourself So Damned Seriously.
wrote my blog to you, got ready for work, and broke down crying in my closet. I’m
so tired of being brave.
year of hell, perhaps five years of health, perhaps one perhaps twenty, I would do it.
hate that I have such a burning, singeing ambition to do more. I hate that I
want to have my own life story to hand to someone to type. To have someone
record and note my life, my legacy, my
experience of living a full and long life.
this so damned fucking much, that I would do whatever it took to stay.
seriously, I eat my daily eggs, and I don’t worry twice.
P.S. It is a nice change from the 25 y.o.- should I/shouldn’t I argument. So there’s that. #SilverLining