chunks! The latest chunk being:
worthiness is that it doesn’t have prerequisites. Most of us, on the other
hand, have a long list of worthiness prerequisites [most of which] fall in the
categories of accomplishments, acquisitions, and external acceptance. It’s the if/when problem (“I’ll be worthy when…” or “I’ll be worthy
auditioning, actually: “There are no mistakes, only misinterpretations.”
guilt. Shame = I am bad. Guilt = I did something bad. With guilt, your inherent
worth and worthiness is not called into question, and she encourages us to use
“guilt self-talk” instead of “shame self-talk,” if we have to use anything at
time with a coworker’s 10-year old daughter who was home for the summer, but
didn’t have anywhere to be this week. After way too many days watching t.v. on
her phone, I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk yesterday. And so we did.
and I encouraged her to touch the cool, lapping stream, she was surprised
and delighted, and asked if we could walk in it.
socks and shoes and into the shallows we go.
was reporting a story to me about something that had happened with her father
the day before. A story that would likely be categorized as one of Road Rage. As she told the story, I experienced many reactions and opinions. Aghast, sad,
worried, judgmental, superior.
situations, and that was one way to handle it.”
inappropriate, endangering, or negligent. I am the person, in that little short
hour, to tell her, Yes, we can play in the water, and you are safe with me. I
am not going to pile my opinions onto you, because I know you’re making your
your own choices. You be influenced by who and how he is, and you’ll have the
chance to work through any of that if you need to.
react, I think. Was what he was doing appropriate? Wasn’t that funny or awful?
No. It was neither. It was human.
aim it in a parental direction in my own life.)
much meat to her observations and suggestions.
and who experience belonging simply believe they are worthy of love and belonging. I often say that
Wholeheartedness is like the North Star: We never really arrive, but we
certainly know if we’re headed in the right direction.
girl’s experience, I get to let her have her own North Star and continue to
follow mine. No ifs, whens or buts.