I had a strange occurrence this week: I received help.
Novel, I know. But as you may have read here, I have a complicated (read: vitriolic) relationship with giving and receiving help, which is informed by my reticence to give and receive goodness to and from my own self.
Therefore, as I sat on two phone calls this week, shared my situation and my questions, was offered guidance, suggestions, encouragement, and a path forward, I felt different. And that difference is a keystone toward my future.
Because I met with two friends/lay-people last week to discuss my financial situation, one of them offered me the name of a certified financial planner. It is beginning to look like I truly need professional help when looking at my finances, instead of continuing to wing it or to attempt to wrest all the pennies out of my paycheck and into my savings—an express ticket to Deprivation Land.
Listening to Money: Master the Game by Tony Robbins earlier this year, he too suggested that we talk with someone to get a more realistic and educated sense of how to proceed. But it’s not like I had any clue who or how to find someone, therefore this “to do” item fell down the pages of my calendar for months.
And lo: here I was across a cafe table last week and the gentleman says, “You have to talk to this guy; he’s a success machine.” Uhh, yes, please!
So I talk to said guy and his associate on Monday. We have an hour-long free call where I describe my current situation and mushy outlines of my future goals. Firstly, he is so kind! They are generous with their questions, their listening, their suggestions. They listen with a warmth that belies the fact that they would never take my business!
Because their fees are precipitous, they’re not the right group for me and they later suggest a woman who may be. Nonetheless, despite knowing my financial situation within the first 5 minutes of our call, they talk to me anyway. Even now, I feel a pressure ease in my chest when I recall it. (I’d later describe them as “warm, juicy” feelings!)
There is something about help freely given that feels entirely new to me.
Surely, I’ve previously been offered what I’m presently calling “Healthy Help,” but perhaps I was not in a place to become aware of it, or in a place to receive it.
We had our lovely, gentle, informative, equanimous call and they invited me to check in down the line. I followed their referral immediately, and the next afternoon spoke with a woman whose fees and experience seem just what I’m looking for.
Again, she listened. She heard, she parsed, she reflected. And it just felt SO DAMN CALM! I don’t know what it is about the “calmness” of these phone calls that strikes me as so phenomenal, but it does. (By contrast, I can point to two weeks earlier when I spoke with a real estate agent and a mortgage broker, and I can assure you that however kind in their being they may be, their help sure didn’t feel “calm.” It felt pushy, greedy, and patronizing.)
Clearly, I am attracting a different manner of help — or I am finally in a place to receive Healthy Help. It feels marvelous, expansive, laden with possibility and hope. And it speaks to an opening in my realm for more.