friendship · goals · isolation

The Buddy System

9.20.18.jpegWhile many actions I’m taking are to strengthen the net around moving toward my goals, it’s become clear that plain “accountability” isn’t enough for me in some cases.

Would you believe, even following that blog about the importance of music in my life, that I bought tickets to a concert last Friday and didn’t even attend?  It was the evening after Back to School night, so with the delayed homecoming it was a very short night of sleep and a long day.  But still.  I discovered, as I checked in by phone with my Action Partner (and admitted to her that in just a few hours I “should” be going to a concert), that just buying a seat doesn’t get me to that seat.

As I looked at my list of actions for yesterday, I had 2 competing tasks: “Find Opera Buddy” and… “Call Opera to Sell Back 2nd Ticket.”

Now, I’m not as dense as I look;P so I can extrapolate from last Friday’s experience to know, pretty deeply, that if I sell back my 2nd ticket, I have a much less likely chance of actually making it to the show.  And that’s just sad, because I was so excited to buy this package of tickets and go to the opera.

(I’m not traditionally a huge opera person, but I’ve gotten into a few over the last couple of years, so I bought a small, teacher-discounted set that includes Tosca, which I’ve seen and loved, and It’s a Wonderful Life, which seems like it’ll be a totally cool and unique opera experience.)

So.  I need a buddy.  It’s funny: 2 coworkers and myself bought tickets to see this simulcast of Macbeth last year at a movie theater — one of them had to cancel because of a work commitment and one got violently ill in the middle of the day!… So, you guessed it!  I didn’t go either.

There are plenty of activities for which I don’t require a buddy, but it seems the list of things for which I do are any events requiring I leave my 5-block radius once I’m home from work!

In the age of last-minute flaking, made so much easier because of texting, I find that I am flaking out on myself.

Part of my vision/goals for myself is to form new friendships and to strengthen those I have.  If that’s the case, then it follows that maintaining fidelity the first of those action items (“Find Opera Buddy”) will generate more dividends than going (or not going) alone.

 

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