take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have…”
very nature of being born, we are subject to a variety of experience. Some of these we deem good, some bad, and
being pleasure-seeking beings, we are partial to those we deem good.
and its many faces/facets, I have oriented my understanding to be one
that says, Everything happens for our own good.
Even the bad things.
way of life that brings me fellowship, understanding, pleasure, laughter, and a
sense of being deeply understood.
my experiences, I’ve become sensitive, compassionate, empathetic, resourceful,
strong, and creative.
impetus to engage in my life more fully, playing in a band, flying a plane,
acting and singing in theater.
because they have led me to becoming more useful and engaged as a human.
the rocks of experience, shaping us, reshaping us, and winnowing us down to the
raw beauty of ourselves— Hey Universe, would
you lay off a minute, huh?
controllable, the most chaotic, disordered, entropy-laden reasoning for it all.
in my lifetime, it is to feel safe.
safety, I have built up around myself an armor, a buffer, a multi-layered
sequence of dance steps that I believe if I dodge left, you, it, experience,
failure, hurt, calamity will needly dodge right.
are to bowl you over like a rhino in a football helmet.
I believe or fear it to be– I also dodge whatever good that rhinoceros might be trying to hand me. And therein lies the rub, eh?
own self, need, and experience out of fear of what might happen if I let things
flow, I am scrubbing up against my own realization that I
am restricting myself for fear that bad shit might happen. I am hoping to control the all of my
experience so I am not harmed anymore.
to believe) about all those bad things becoming or being seen as good things –
don’t fucking think that I want or wanted them too. They were all still egregiously painful. And, as I mentioned, human as I
am, I don’t want pain.
believe I restrict my experience of benevolence. Grace.
design to be safe, I am restricted from the greater joys and rewards of life.
the whole of life’s experience, knowing that in my disarmoring, I am (also)
opening myself to unforeseen goodness?